Online dating is confusing. Despite the presence of hundreds of thousands if not millions of women looking for dates online, 97% of men given up in the first three months. With that said, it is hard to imagine that 97% of men are unattractive, creepy, or unworthy of dates. So where is the disconnect? In this post, I will break down 4 online dating profile tips; tips that are based on research and have proven to be successful on online dating sites.
Similar to the real world, online dating requires skill. Simply going out and ‘being yourself’ without paying attention to what women want is unlikely to result in success. To address these constant failures, I have put together a list of the top 5 online dating profile tips. While online dating does require messaging and interaction, which we will cover another day, getting a proper profile set up is the first step towards achieving dating success.
Online Dating Profile Tips – Tip #1 – Use a Good Picture
There are two huge mistakes men make when it comes to online dating: using bad pictures and writing bad profiles. To make matters worse, a “good” online dating profile picture is not the same a good picture. Research by online dating companies have found that there are certain types of pictures that result in more interactions with women, and certain pictures that women do not like.
Contrary to what you might think, women do not like pictures of men are smiling and look nice. Similar to the real world, these men seem overly nice and potentially need. So what do women like? Research has shown that men who do not look into the camera (no direct eye contact) and who do not smile get the highest response rates. Seems counter-intuitive upfront, but in the real world women like bad boys; this is simply an extension of that.
This does not mean you have to go super James Bond and hire professional photographer to take pictures of you posing in a high-end hotel lobby, but it does mean you may need to get out the camera and take some new pictures (since most of us smile in our everyday pictures). Further, black and white can add a great touch to your photos.
Online Dating Profile Tips – Tip #2 – Not Using Emotion in Profile Descriptions
Once again, there are major similarities between real-life dating and online dating. In the real world, men who are logical and unimaginative do not succeed with women very often. In the online dating world things are not much different. The fact is women are stimulated by emotionally driven topics, and get turned on by men who can communicate in an emotionally charged way.
This means leaving out facts and instead communicating using open-ended language. This does not mean you talk about emotional topics like break-ups, death, divorce, etc., as this is even worse than talking about facts and logical topics. Instead it means that you use emotion in your language.
As an example, you could talk about surfing in one of two ways. In your profile you could say “I love surfing.” This is probably more interesting than what most guys put, but it is a fact and does nothing to stimulate the woman. Or, using emotional language, you could put: “I am completely in love with surfing. The way it feels to stand and glide across water is like nothing else on this planet.” The difference between these two statements is night and day. In short, do whatever you can to avoid statements that are similar to the first one and instead make them more like the second one.
Online Dating Profile Tips – Tip #3 – Avoid Bragging
This is somewhat similar to tip #2 as it involves listing facts. Aside from the fact that facts don’t stimulate women, bragging is never a good thing. It doesn’t work in the real world and it doesn’t work online. Talking about how you drive a Porsche, have a house in Hamptons, or own a yacht makes you look insecure. The reason for this is because it makes it seem like you need material objects or achievements to make up for your lack of personality.
That is not to say these are bad things. Getting a date with a woman through online dating and then having her see you pull up and valet your Porsche are two entirely different things. I would actually avoid letting her know you have money upfront, as it could motivate her to be interested in you when she otherwise would not have been, but that is your choice. Either way, there is a little saying about bragging that could not be more true.
“If you have to tell someone you are something, you are probably not that thing.”
Online Dating Tips – Tip #4: Only Using One Picture
One of the biggest mistakes both men and women make when it comes to online dating is using only one profile picture. The truth is anybody who is average looking has some photos that make them look more attractive than they really are. We’ve all experienced it. You meet a friend’s friend or someone from an online dating site and they look nothing like the person in their profile picture.
It really is a huge disappointment, because it is likely all other indicators pointed to the two of you having things in common and being interested in each other. This is especially true of women who trick men into dates, knowing full well they look nothing like they did five years and 40 pounds ago. Anyways, this rings true for men also. While women do not pay as much attention to looks as men, using just one profile picture triggers that response in a woman’s head. What if he doesn’t look the same? What if this picture’s 5 years old? And on and on.
To overcome these objections we highly recommend you use multiple, up-to-date pictures. If you are overweight or have acne, do something about it. Warren Buffet, one of if not “thee” most famous investor to have ever lived, once said:
“The best investment you can ever make is in yourself. Ever.”
This is something taught by many of today’s top dating coaches. Sure tricks and strategies will get you some success, but making yourself the type of guy women are attracted to and want to be around is a much better long-term strategy.
In conclusion, online dating is not that different from the real world. You need to represent yourself in the most truthful, positive light possible. You also need to engage and communicate with women on an emotional level.
“Your Opinion Matters! Let us know what you think about our online dating profile tips in the comment section below!”