Online dating is confusing for most men. Millions of women actively looking for dates, yet 97% of men fail and give up in the first 90 days. Why? What’s going on here? The truth is online dating is not that different from dating in the real world. If anything, online dating is more cutthroat than real world dating. In short, women don’t have to worry about hurting a man’s feeling to his face; one simple click of the mouse and that man is rejected while she moves on to the next one. It is for this reason I have put together a list of online dating tips for men.
With that said, there is a reason most men fail. For starters, online dating is very similar to the real world. If you have been unsuccessful in real world dating, it is highly unlikely you are going to hop online and become a dating superstar. Just because you are online does not mean the rules of the game don’t apply. Given how many men are failing, the rules of ‘the game’ are more important than ever.
Below you will find online dating tips for men. While we cannot cover everything about online dating in one small article, these tips should set you on the right path.
Online Dating Tips for Men – Tip #1 – Do Your Homework
Most men take a completely blind approach to online dating (as do most men in the real world). They think they can ‘be themselves’ and have women falling at their feet. Unfortunately this is far from reality, evidenced by the staggering failure statistics. With that said, a variety of online dating companies have released extensive research showing what works and what doesn’t. Take the time to learn from their research.
As an example, did you know studies have shown exactly what types of profile pictures get responses (and which do not). Studies have shown that more mysterious looking profile pictures result in dramatically higher response rates. Examples here include not smiling and looking away from the camera (these two characteristics have shown the highest response rates). While you may think that huge smile makes you look like a nice, approachable guy, it sends the signal that you are like every other kiss ass wussy man out in the world (and is a big turnoff).
To increase your response rates, change up your pictures. Either use a tripod and take some pictures yourself, have a friend take some for you, or hire a professional. Whatever you do, get some pictures that involve you looking like a mystery man (looking away from the camera and not smiling too much). Smirking in a confident, sexy way is ok, but if you don’t know exactly what that looks like, go for the non-smile. Black and white can also add a special touch to your profile pic, and should be considered.
Online Dating Tips for Men - Tip #2 – Stop Sending the Same Messages EVERY Guy is Sending
Studies have also shown that generic messages do not get response. “Hey hottie, how are you?” “Hi cutie…” Attractive women gets tons of these messages every day, and they ignore every single one of them. Once again, to become successful in this arena, look at what the research has shown works. Research has shown that “Hey, how’s it going?” followed by a reference to something in her profile has a dramatically higher response rate.
Research has also shown that references to her beauty or looks consistently fail. Instead, talk about things you have in common. Messages that highlight common interests perform significantly better than messages that compliment a woman on how attractive she is. Further, keep your messages short but not too short.
A one-line email is probably not going to cut it. On the other hand, if you write her 5 paragraphs about yourself, she is going to think you are self-centered and have no life. In general, 4-5 shorter sentences should be good.
Online Dating Tips for Men - Tip #3 – Have a Goal
Similar to text messaging, your end goal is not to begin an in-depth back and forth conversation. Instead, your goal should be to spark the woman’s interest to the point that she is comfortable meeting you in person. How do you do this? For starters, keep the conversation light-hearted and fun. Using banter and teasing, similar to the in the real world, is a great way to spark attraction and curiosity. It sends all the right signals. With that said, you are not trying to be Mr. Funny Guy. Tease her a little bit, show her that you are not desperate and are not going to be devastated if she doesn’t show any interest, and take it from there.
Once you have a little rapport going, you need to be a man and ask for the in-person meeting. Letting the conversation linger for too long online shows her that you don’t have any balls and are afraid of being rejected. Even if you can’t meet in the short-term because you’re busy, ask for a date in the future (and make sure she knows you are busy and therefore have a life).
I cannot emphasize how important this part is. Having a good profile in place will get you responses. Unfortunately most men screw it up by not knowing how to interact with the woman once they’ve gotten a response. The truth is most men don’t know how to interact with women in the real world, so this comes as no surprise. With that said, spend as much time as you can learning what attracts women (this blog has plenty of articles to help you). Further, practicing online is a great way to improve your skills in the real world. Understanding banter, teasing, building anticipation, and similar tactics will help you become better in the real world as well as online.
Online dating is truly a wonderful thing; millions of women all looking for men to date and potentially have sex with. And with research showing that 97% of your competition has no idea what they are doing, the odds are heavily stacked in favor of the men who take the time to learn how online dating truly works.
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