Interested in meeting women but not sure where to start? This article will explain how to pick up girls in three easy steps. While there is an abundance of information on meeting women and ‘picking up chicks,’ all of the advice out there boils down to a few steps every man must go through to meet new women.
1.) How to Pick Up Girls - Step #1: Approach
Approaching women is quite possibly the most discussed topic in the men’s dating advice community. Unfortunately we can’t cover every topic related to approaching in one short article, but we can give you some guidelines to avoid the major mistakes most men make.
For starters, your approach needs to make the woman feel comfortable. Making women feel uncomfortable is a guaranteed way to get rejected and ruin your chances before she can even get to know you. So how do men make women feel uncomfortable? Most of the time it’s because of creepy or insecure body language.
2.) How to Pick Up Girls - Step #2 – Make Great Conversation
Now that you’ve approached the woman while displaying confident, secure body language, you need to talk to her. There are multiple articles on our site about talking to women, but for the sake of this short article we will focus on the number one mistake 95% of men make when talking to women.
If you were to sum up the difference between men and women in one sentence, it would look something like this: men are guided by logic while women are guided by emotions. Entire books have been written on this topic, but for the time being let’s just say that you need to feed women what mentally stimulates them: emotions.
Avoid Interviews & Logical Conversations
When women complain of first dates and interactions feeling like interviews, it is because men fire off question after question about logical topics that do not interest women whatsoever. So that you understand the difference here, logical questions have factual based answers (many times one word answers). “Where do you work?” is a perfect example. Where she works is a fact, and can only be answered using logical reasoning (I work at ABC doing XYZ). Logic like this bores women to death.
Given this, you should focus your interactions on emotionally driven topics. This does not mean that you should get emotional, however. The goal here is to spark attraction, and talking about emotional topics like past breakups, death of a loved one, hating your job, and the like make it impossible to create attraction.
Focus on Emotionally Charged Topics
Instead, talk about topics that do not have factual based conclusions or answers. Gossip is a perfect example. For the most part men don’t gossip because there is no logical or rational purpose to it. Women, however, thrive on gossip.
The reason for this is because gossip is emotionally stimulating. When women talk about how so and so was jealous, excited, or furious, the women talking actually feel the emotions they are talking about. This, in turn, fuels them to keep talking for the sake of continually feeling those emotions.
I know this is extremely difficult for us men to understand, but it’s the truth. Look at what women spend their money on: sappy movies, gossip magazines, romance novels, and romantic comedies. Why? All of these forms of entertainment fuel their craving for emotional stimulation. Given this, when you approach a woman you need to feed her what fuels her; if you don’t, she’ll get bored and leave (unless she wants you for your money that is :).
Avoid Creepy Body Language
Studies have shown that as much as 87% of communication is non-verbal. In other words, words only account for 13% of your communication. Given this, the words you use are not that important. Instead, you need to focus on avoiding behaviors that indicate you are nervous or uncomfortable.
Examples here include fidgeting, touching your face, speaking too softly, rocking back and forth, holding bad posture, trembling, your voice cracking because you’re nervous, failing to hold strong eye contact/looking away when you lock eyes with a woman, etc.
We’ve all experienced talking to someone who is insecure. When someone fidgets, has a weak voice and cannot hold eye contact it makes us uncomfortable. We don’t know why, it just does. The same is true for women: if you approach a woman and display signs of nervousness or being uncomfortable, she will feel those same feelings.
More importantly, women are wired to interpret nervous or uncomfortable body language as a threat. Evolutionarily speaking women are much more intuitive than men, as their lack of physical strength means they need to analyze and avoid threats using their mind. Given this, displaying insecure body language will set off a trigger inside her that tells her you are a threat and that she needs to get away. Not good.
3.) How to Pick Up Girls - Step #3: Decide What’s Next!
As a man it is your responsibility to guide all social interactions. This means making an approach, guiding the conversation, and deciding what comes next. If you like the woman you are talking to, and she seems to be interested in you, you need to either get her contact information (for the sake of a future interaction) or initiate a date right on the spot.
The decision you make is up to you, but YOU need to make the decision. Learning how to pick up girls means guiding the interaction the entire time, from start to finish.
While there are millions of pickup lines and conversation topics you can use, learning how to pick up girls involves three basic steps. You must: make the approach, engage in conversation, and decide what happens next. Learning how to progress through these steps takes time and practice, but it is a skill well worth learning.