This article covers how to meet women in 3 easy steps. While there are millions of places to meet women and millions of approach tactics, the steps you take in actually meeting a woman are pretty basic. First, you have to go where women are. Second, you have to approach them once you find them. If you can get an introduction made (through mutual friends) or know an introduction will be coming later (like at a networking event), you can wait. If no introduction is going to be made, however, you must approach her on your own.
Once the approach has been made, you need to engage in conversation with her. We will touch on conversation topics and strategies later. Once you have approached the woman and engaged in conversation with her, you as a man need to decide what direction you want to take it (which is entirely up to you). Before you can meet women, however, you have to figure out where to meet women.
1.) How To Meet Women – Step #1: Where to Meet Women
Unfortunately, many men who are learning how to meet women think bars and clubs are the only places to go. To make matters worse, a large percentage of dating advice for men is geared towards meeting women at bars and clubs. The truth is bars and clubs are not great for ‘meeting’ women you want to build a relationship with long-term, even though it’s possible. However, when I think about my friends, none of them has a girlfriend he met in a bar or club.
Before we move on from bars and clubs, however, we will discuss the benefits of these two areas. As we already mentioned, bars and clubs are good for testing different things in communicating with girls, and generally improving how you interact with women. The reason they are good for this is because there are typically lots of women at bars and clubs (giving you lots of practice opportunities). There might not be a million hotties at your local watering hole, but in most decent sized towns there are bars and clubs that single women go on Friday and Saturday nights.
In general, the more upscale, expensive, and harder the place is to get into, the hotter the women there will be. Velvet rope clubs in Hollywood or Vegas are good examples. As for bars, themed-bars typically attract different types of women. Sports bars will attract women who like football on Saturday and Sunday mornings. Wine bars will attract women who like wine. Upscale, private hotel bars will attract upscale women. Dive bars will attract less picky women. The point here is that if you are going to go to bars or clubs to meet women, think about bars and clubs that attract the type of women that you want to meet.
Places That Don’t Involve Drinking
There is a wide variety of places you can meet women that do not involve bars or clubs. Learning how to meet women means getting comfortable in most any setting and being able to approach in random places. With that said, there are certain places, events and venues that typically attract a higher percentage of women than men.
As an example, yoga classes are a great place for meeting women. Unfortunately many men have caught on to this fact, as there are more men doing yoga now than ever before. Despite this, yoga studios are still great places for meeting women.
A word of warning though: women can see through guys who go to yoga classes just to meet women. Yoga is hard, and weeds out most men who are there for no other purpose than to ‘pick up chicks.’ If you really want to meet women at a yoga class, start off with the beginner’s courses and don’t talk to or stare at any women your first few classes. Many people believe yoga to be the fountain of youth, as it has a ton of physical and psychological benefits. Given this, approaching yoga from a place of genuine interest is much more likely to lead to success (versus simply looking at is a meat market).
Another great place to meet attractive women is at your local health food store. Attractive women aren’t chowing down at McDonalds all the time. Instead, they are eating healthy (which means shopping at health food stores). Attractive women typically don’t sit on their butts watching TV all day either; most of them work out in one way or another. Which brings us to our next location: the gym.
While there are some women on this planet who can eat whatever they want, never work out and still look gorgeous, most attractive women do not fall into this category. Instead, they work out and watch what they eat to maintain their physique, skin, hair, etc. Given this, gyms can be great places to meet attractive women. Further, because endorphins are released when we work out, people are more receptive to random conversations as they have ‘feel good’ chemicals pumping through their bodies.
While the list of places to meet women goes on and on, the point here is that you need to spend time where women spend time. Don’t get too excited now though, as going to places where women spend time is the easy part. Once you are there, you need to approach them and get a conversation going. This is where most men struggle.
How To Meet Women – Step #2: Approaching Women
Before we get into our approach section, it should be mentioned that entire books, DVD series, seminars and bootcamps have been dedicated to the topic of approaching women.
Given this, we cannot address every issue surrounding the topic of approaching in one short article. Instead, we will give you the approaching in a nutshell!
From there it is up to you to continually educate yourself and practice (when it comes to approaching women, the saying ‘practice makes perfect’ could not be any truer).
While the topic of approaching women is extremely in-depth, following some basic guidelines will help you overcome the mistakes 95% of men make. In most cases, approaches go bad because the man made one of a few general mistakes. Given this, we will highlight the things you should not do instead of the things you should do.
For starters, you should not do anything that makes women uncomfortable. This includes starting at them from a distance, watching them dance in a pervert type way, lingering around or following them, etc. Making women feel like they are being watched and that you want something from them is a guaranteed way to make them feel uncomfortable. In other words, don’t be the creepy stalker guy.
Making her feel comfortable doesn’t stop once you’ve walked up to her either. If you were to walk into a location and approach a woman almost immediately, there would be no reason for her to feel uncomfortable as there was no way for you to stalk her or creep her out. However, if you are uncomfortable when you approach her and are talking to her, it will rub off on her. She won’t be able to explain it, but she will feel the fact that you are uncomfortable and become uncomfortable herself.
For the most part your body language and tone of voice are going to say a lot more about your comfort level than the words you are using. Even if you have memorized 100 pickup lines and memorized stories like some aspiring pick up artists do, if you’re uncomfortable on the inside your body language will give it away.
Studies have shown that up to 87% of communication comes from our body language, tone of voice, eye movements, etc. Put another way, words play a small role when it comes to communication. Given this, it is of crucial importance that you get your body language under control. Examples of awkward/uncomfortable body language include: fidgeting, rocking your body, darting your eyes, not being able to hold eye contact, your voice shaking because you’re nervous, touching your face, etc.
Entire books and seminars have been dedicated to this topic. For now, just pay attention to how you feel when you approach a woman. Once you realize that rejections don’t matter you will become more comfortable, which will in turn make her more comfortable.
3.) How To Meet Women - Step #3 – Talk to Her Emotions (and keep talking)
Every once in a while those of us in the men’s dating advice community hear about guys who never get ‘rejected.’ Does this mean every single woman on the planet wants them? NO! It took me a long time to figure this out, but once I understood how these guys avoided getting rejected it took my game to a whole new level.
In short, guys who don’t get rejected are so good at communicating with their eyes and body that they know whether or not a woman is interested before they make their approach. Once you understand how to read a woman’s eye contact and body language (aka signals), you have complete control regarding whether or not you approach women who are not giving obvious signs of interest. If you want to play it safe go for women who send you signals; this how you avoid getting ‘rejected.’
Unfortunately, there will be times when the woman you want does not throw you any signals. In some cases, she may genuinely not be interested. In other cases, she will be interested but want you to prove that you have enough balls to come over and talk to her without her giving you any help. Sadly you won’t know which category she falls into unless you talk to her. Given this, learning how to start and hold a conversation is an extremely important skill.
Once again, entire books and programs have been dedicated to the art of ‘talking’ to women; it would be impossible for us to cover every aspect of conversation in one short article. However, similar to step #2, following basic guidelines while avoiding the mistakes 95% of men make will take you pretty far.
For starters, women are emotional creatures. When you hear people complain about how first dates feel like interviews, it is because men fail to understand that women are emotional creatures. Instead of talking to them about emotionally charged topics, they ask them logical questions (which sound like interview questions). Where are you from? Where do you work? The list goes on and on.
Do NOT Bore Women w/Logical Conversations
Not only does these questions tell you nothing meaningful about the woman you’re talking to, they bore women to fucking death. If you want success with women, you have to learn how to engage in mindless chit-chat and talk about emotionally driven topics. Gossip, observing other people, drama, romance; these are the things women are entertained by. Don’t believe me? Think about what women spend their money on: gossip magazines, romance novels, romantic comedies and movies that involve dramatic love stories.
The idea of talking to women on an emotional level is nothing new. Men who have learned how to meet women understand that logic bores women, and because of this they avoid logical conversations and interactions at all costs. I’m living proof.
In every approach I have made over the course of my entire life, the outcome of my approach depended entirely on two things: did my body language make her uncomfortable and did my conversation bore her?
A Foolproof Method for Ensuring Successful Approaches
With almost 100% accuracy, if I made her uncomfortable or bored her to death with logical conversation topics I got rejected. If, on the other hand, I maintained by composure and engaged her on an emotional level, it always went well.
That isn’t to say I always succeeded; life gets in the way sometimes. However, as long as I didn’t make the girl feel uncomfortable or bore her to death, we always walked away with smiles on our faces and neither of us feeling bad.
This is an important point, as positive interactions should be your only goal when it comes to meeting women. So many men are scared of approaching women, but once you learn that women will be nice to you as long as you don’t make them uncomfortable and don’t bore them to death, the idea of meeting women becomes dramatically less intimidating.
Remember, the formula for learning how to meet women is easy:
- Go Where the Women Are
- Approach Them
- Talk to Them in a way that engages their emotions
- Always ask for their number, then follow up!