Body language is quite possibly the most important yet least understood form of communication, especially when it comes to communicating with women. Unlike spoken word body language is subliminal, and telegraphs what you are really feeling inside. Given this, body language flirting simply involves sending signals to someone that you are interested in – without using words.
Unfortunately teaching body language via written text is very difficult; you need to see it up-front and center to get a feel for the nuances of how body language really works. With that said, it is such an important topic that I could not leave it out.
If you are to achieve a remotely high level of success with women, you need to gain control over your body language. I’ve talked about the importance of this in my articles on approaching women and flirting, but I didn’t go as in-depth with the pointers and tips. So, below you will find my collection of body language flirting tips. Use them wisely, as body language is very powerful.
Body Language Flirting Tip #1 – Learn Eye Contact
One thing most men can do to improve their body language overnight is to learn about eye contact, and holding eye contact in particular. Have you ever noticed a really beautiful woman and locked eyes with her? Odds are you looked away first, as you were scared she: had caught you checking her out, was going to be creeped out by you, knew you were staring at her tits, etc. This is a huge mistake.
In the animal kingdom, extended eye contact means one of two things: I want to fight you or I want to mate with you. In Western society, it means the same thing amongst strangers. Given this, when you lock eyes with a woman you are interested in (or any woman for that matter), breaking the lock first indicates that you were interested in her (wanted to mate with her) but were too weak to let her know it. Yeah, that’s right. If you can’t hold eye contact until she breaks first, it signals to her that you are weak and cannot handle her looking into your soul.
Since learning this I have not been perfect, but I can tell you that it sends a small shock through a woman’s system when you hold eye contact and let it linger. Sometimes I’ll interact with women who think I’m going to look away first, and when I hold it and look deeper into them, they almost twitch a tiny bit and get a little flustered when they realize I’m not like most other men.
What’s beautiful about this is it does not require words, and really doesn’t even require that you be in close proximity to the woman. I have done this from 20 to 30 yards away and it still gets smiles and makes women blush. Further, you can practice with old women and children you see on the street; it will better prepare you for the next time you lock eyes with a truly beautiful woman. (PS – you should not break eyes with men first either, it signals weakness and submission).
Body Language Flirting Tip #2 – Learn How to Walk
This one is a little harder to explain than eye contact. In short, the way you carry yourself says a lot about how you view yourself. If you are insecure and timid, the stereotype says that you will walk around with your hands in your pockets and your head down. If you are confident and see the world as your playground, you will walk around with your head up and your shoulders back. While these two generalizations are true, there is such a fine line between walking confidently and walking like a jackass that it’s hard to know where confidence ends and arrogance begins.
For the most part, you want to error on the side of confidence/arrogance. This means taking up a lot of space, walking somewhat slowly, and keeping your chin parallel to the ground. This does not mean walking like a gangster rapper, with an exaggerated swagger, putting too much emphasis on walking on one leg (the gangster limp), etc. If you find yourself doing these things, you’re going overboard. Fortunately, women notice this stuff immediately. If you have a girlfriend or two you are comfortable enough with, tell them you are reading a body language book and are trying to walk more confidently. They will be able to offer input regarding whether you are taking it too far (or if you’re still walking timidly).
Body Language Flirting Tip #3 – Take Up Space
I struggled with this concept for a long-time until someone explained it properly. When first hearing about the concept of taking up space, I always imagined an overstretched guy with his arms stretched out on the couch top and his legs spread as wide as possible. That is not what I mean by taking up space here. What taking up space means is dominating the space that you are in (in short, dominate your space but don’t overcompensate).
This does not mean you need to take the widest stance possible, and puff your elbows out like a bodybuilder. What it does mean, however, is that no one should be intruding on your area. If you were to draw a radius around you, maybe going 6 inches from each shoulder and making one big circle, you should dominate that space. Don’t be afraid of someone bumping into you. Don’t let girls crowd you. In short, be the boss of your space. This is not an aggressive move; it is simply alpha/dominant male behavior.
In conclusion, understanding non-verbal communication and body language flirting is crucial to your long-term success. I cannot sum this up in one short article, but the truth is women use body language to judge men from across the room, before you even open up your mouth. In other words, it doesn’t matter how slick your pick-up lines or canned stories are; if she senses weak body language you will be out of the game before you even approach.